Like Some Kind of Pioneer
by CulinaryChef
Summary: When their hotel's less-than-stellar Wi-Fi connection acts up, the micronations get a taste of the olden days and discover that improvising is (almost) as much fun as watching their favorite television show.


"Guys, guys, the new Steven Universe episode is out!" Seborga called, sitting on the bed and scrolling through Ladonia's laptop. "C'mere, watch it with me!"

"Cool, scooch on over." Ladonia hopped up on the bed and scooted next to Seborga as the Italian brought up the website. "Wy, you too."

The girl looked up from her own bed, where she was lying quite comfortably on her stomach and reading a book she had been meaning to catch up on. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," both boys said in unison.

"I haven't had time to read in a while, and I've been wanting to read this for a really long time."

"And we've been wanting to see this new episode for a really long time," Seborga countered. "Please?"

After a few seconds of contemplation, Wy groaned, marked her place in the book, and joined the others on the bed. "I wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway with the two of you nitwits squealing over your show," she muttered to herself.

"That's my girl. Grazie!" Seborga pecked her cheek, prompting a pillow to be shoved into his face. A startled Seborga almost dropped the laptop.

"Don't drop the computer!" cried a frantic Ladonia, reaching out to steady it. "Very precious cargo!"

Once the trio was nestled under the covers, Seborga pressed play and the episode started.

They didn't get much farther than the theme song when the video froze.

"Aw why does it have to buffer?" Ladonia lamented. "If we were using the signal back home, we'd never have this problem."

"Well, the reception at this hotel isn't the most stable," Seborga pointed out. "It's been on the fritz all night. Guess everyone's using it to prepare notes for tomorrow's session or something." He flashed the trademark optimistic, if not oblivious, Vargas smile. "But not to worry! It'll be fixed in no time."

"It better be," grumbled Ladonia. "If my computer gets messed up, someone's _life_ is gonna get messed up."

The Italian chuckled and pulled the comforter closer around the three of them.

Ladonia frowned. "So what do we even _do_ while it's loading? Sit and talk like some sort of animals?"

This time, Wy piped up. "Actual human interaction once in a while never killed anyone, you know."

"But we're not humans," retorted Ladonia.

Wy felt her face go red. She wished she had wandered after Australia, or even tagged along with Sealand (wherever he went off to), instead of being here babysitting the two annoying redheads. "You know what I mean! Real conversation. Face to face."

"Yeah but I feel like we're some kind of pioneers or something. Back on the Oregon Trail." Ladonia had played the computer game of the Oregon Trail a few years ago, and for the life of him couldn't figure out how the real-life pioneers didn't die from boredom before anything else.

Seborga on the other hand embraced the idea. "Si! Like we're on the Oregon Trail!" He pressed a finger to his lips and thought for a moment. "Hm… Ok I got it! So two of my cattle dropped dead this morning, and my food supply is running low. I need to get to a trading post in the next three days or I'll be in serious trouble. Your turn, Wy."

The girl eyed him curiously before brainstorming her own scenario. "Alright. My wagon just sank into the river, and my oxen are drowning."

Ladonia rolled his eyes and leaned over Seborga's shoulder to check the video, which thankfully had finished loading. "Well they can stay there. The video's back on." He clicked play, and the episode continued.

The three friends watched attentively, even Wy becoming interested in the action of the show, until several minutes later, the screen froze once more.

"Oh come on!" Ladonia threw his hands up in defeat. "I just wanna watch the stupid episode!"

"Patience, little one," said Seborga. He turned to Wy. "Now how are your cattle doing?"

"Still dead, I bet," Ladonia answered dryly for her.

"Actually, not they're not," Wy replied matter-of-factly. "I was able to salvage some of them, empty most of my cargo, and find an alternate route toward the next town."

"Oh good for you!" praised Seborga. "Now I propose that you empty a little more of your belongings, only take what you need, and you can join my wagon. We can take you in, and together we should be able to make the next town by… nightfall tomorrow."

Ladonia turned his head back and forth between Seborga and Wy as they carried out this play scenario. He would rather go a week without his computer than admit that he was becoming interested in this little game of theirs, but such was the case. The redhead paid such close attention to the conversation that he didn't hear Sealand enter the room.

"I'm back!" called Sealand, as triumphant as ever. "Jerk England's door was locked. I think he and Norway sealed it with their magic. Whatever. I'll find a way in later because I'm the mighty Sealand! What are you up to?"

"Chilling," informed Seborga. "Talking about our cattle."

Sealand raised a bushy brow. "Cattle?"

"We're pioneers on the Oregon Trail," said Wy.

"Oh. How many of you died of dysentery?"

"A few of my cousins, and a couple of my cows," Seborga replied sadly. "But we're making it through ok."

 _We were supposed to be watching Steven Universe_ , Ladonia said to himself. But he had nothing better to do while waiting for his precious episode, so he figured he might as well join in.

"Snakes," he said simply. "Sealand became a sacrifice to the snakes at the bottom of the marsh."

"A snake-rifice, if you will," joked Seborga.

"A snack-rifice!" giggled Wy.

From there, the conversation turned into a wild fantasy of poisonous creatures, ailing children who needed antidotes, and unfair bartering deals. And Ladonia found the game much more enjoyable now that he was part of it.

The kids eventually finished watching the episode, starting over from the beginning so that Sealand could watch too.

Not too much later, Sealand had gone back upstairs to the "big nations'" floor of the hotel to see if he could yet again infiltrate his brother's room.

Seborga had fallen asleep in the bed, leaving Ladonia and Wy sitting on the floor, the redhead typing away at his laptop while the girl finally read her book.

After looking around to make sure Seborga was still asleep, Ladonia turned to Wy and whispered, "How are your oxen faring?"

He didn't know Wy's giggle could stem from such a silly question.

Ladonia made a mental note to download the game again so that he could play it with his micronation "family", as Sealand insisted on calling them.


End file.
